Mary-san wa, nani wo shite imasu ka?

Every time I update this, I realize it's been two weeks since I've last updated.

four.

tact

it's funny to me that A Chorus Line production would exist with an entirely Asian cast.  I mean, the show itself doesn't take place anywhere near Asia, and might have like.. one Asian in it.  Even so...

...we can clearly see that everyone here is Japanese.

It's a robot.

As for what I've been doing recently... I've just been busy, I suppose.  Yes, that's the answer you were expecting, and that's the answer I gave, so just just just stop reading this blog.  Actually I've been listening to Paula Abdul's "Straight Up" for eight hours a day, and Miyavi's most recent album, "What's My Name," for the remainder of the day.

I work in a mall two days a week... don't worry, it's the same job I've had since I got to Japan (ECC, teaching English); they have a location in the biggest mall in Japan.  Anyway, I figured I'd get there early to prep for some kids lessons and eat some food in the food court, so I got to the mall at 9:50 (it opens at 10).  Since it takes 10 minutes to talk to my job's location within the mall, I went around the side and up the stairs to be closer to it for when the mall opened.  At 9:55, a mall security dude spotted me and kept saying things to me in Japanese.  I asked if a section was open (after his spiel, it was 10 AM), and he said yes, but to please come with him.  I took me almost all the way back to the entrance to the information desk, where they sorted out that I should instead go around the other side of the mall next time.  You'd think it'd end there, but he kept asking and talking and asking and talking and asking and talking about how I managed to get into the mall, to which I SHOULD have replied that I was a ninja but I didn't.  I was eventually let go, and ended up getting to my workplace at 10:20 AM (after running to it).  Basically, showing up early ended up making me late.  Maybe some people in Japan do their jobs too well.  The good news is, I did an amazing job with the classes I taught that day.  OH YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

same ol same ol

Had a great time for Halloween.  It was pretty pro.  I've been pretty lazy lately, so I decided to go for a run yesterday... I think I pushed it too hard.  The muscles around my knee hurt a little yesterday and today, so that slowed me down and I was late for work by a few minutes both days.  =\  Even so, I can't compromise my secret identity by flying to work instead.

look at all the crazy damage from the typhoon a month or two ago.... leaves.

operation complete.  made this guy feel super awkward and embarrassed.

too many acronyms, but there's big magic happening here.  magic the gathering.

ramen near my workplace on thursdays/saturdays

little doggies, i murdered your master.  i am your new master now.

Overtime overtime

Going with the theme of the redundant titles on the blog posts of this month.  That is, the two other blog entries of this month had repeated phrases in their titles in their titles.

Today I worked an overtime shift to cover some dude who went on vacation for a week.  Let's call him Jabroni.  The classes that he normally teaches are like... super expensive classes, so the students are really motivated to participate and learn.  Basically, they show up for like 6 hours a day for classes... and gets lots of homework, etc.  It costs like.. more than $10k a session (two sessions a year, I think... five days a week?).  Maybe one session a year, actually.  Anyway, it's expensive, especially if you think of it in terms of not being able to work a full-time job at the same time.

In Japan, it's totally normal to live with your family til you're old enough where you need your diapers changed again.  Not quite the case in America, where you're labeled as a 'loser.'  With that said, there are TONS of losers in Japan.  I know what you're thinking:  "How do people have sex?"  That's a very good question.  Both men and women have private parts.  Women have a vagina, and men have a penis.  When you put the penis in the vagina, that's called banging.  Banging is very similar to sex, except it involves two revolvers and that's how babies are made.

I took a picture thinking I was the only one on the train headed to a certain destination.  Turns out the train stopped for maintenance... a secret everyone kept from me.

Some wonderful material from one of the books we use...

More specifically, I have to _______.

One of my junior high students is a hilarious person.  She drew a perfect portrait of this guy, who's another student in that class.

NICE BODY~

LoL wet?  I think wet was referring to something else.

GUESS WHO THIS IS yeah it's you.

Just chillin just chillin

Lemme tell you somethin.  Japan is Japan.  As far as what's been going on, let's just say I've been really busy.  Super busy.  Doing what?  I'll leave that up to your imagination.  You can imagine me eating ramen, if you like, because that's involved.

One of the highlights of my month is the amount of exercise I've been getting.  Every day, I sprint about 3 minutes to the train station, and it's doing wonders for my body.  I usually wear dress pants, a dress shirt, and dress shoes when I go for my daily run.  I usually tie my shoes, since I almost rolled my ankle a couple times... but there's always a risk when it comes to exercise.

My hair's too big, I can't wear hats.  It's pretty big.

Over here, people can be awfully shy.  A lot of times, I'll talk to people and they'll just kind of dip their head so as not to look at me.  This can be discouraging as I try to talk to people who are clearly interested in talking to me.

These guys work for a modeling agency and took my info and a couple pictures for their records.  I then took their picture for my records.

Some place on the way up Mt. Takao.  It appears to be... a 7-11.

whatchu say bout my boob??

A Tengu statue, I believe.  You may know the name Tengu from Persona games.

People blow their nose and tie the used tissues here.  Japanese tradition.

CHECK YOSELF something is happening

I know I know

Check the price on this coffee.  It's hard to see, I know, but it's basically a fortune.  380 yen = nearly $5.  The coffee is just normal coffee.

Akamaru Modern at Ippudo ramen shop at Chiba station!  Where can you get this kind of ramen stateside, you ask?  NOWHERE!  Except in New York at the Ippudo restaurant over there.

Massen and I at Chiba station

So Massen was in Japan for a day on a layover or something for his flight back to the US, so we hung out.  There was this cool matsuri (festival) over at Chiba station, which we obviously did not take any pictures of.  What do you think we are, STUPID?  no u

anyway we got drunk and walked around and ate ramen and i got tired early so we slept in an internet cafe for wayyyy too long oops sorry massen

Teaching is still quite a blast.  I met a famous singer/songwriter who I had never heard of... and I had her sing for me during the 1 on 1 lesson.  It was her first lesson, and she was super nice.  I can't give you her name, cause that might compromise... something.  I haven't seen her since, but she's really busy with her career -- television, radio, CDs, etc.  I hope I see her soon :>

I bought clothes recently at Uniqlo -- think of it as being like Gap, except more Unique and more Clo.  Most male clothing stores in Japan only go up to Large sizes, but a Japanese Large just barely doesn't fit me (mostly the sleeves are too short)... so I can't get XL at most cool places.  Uniqlo, on the other hand, has XL... but it's too big!  For a 2000 yen XL shirt (nice shirt, too), it would cost me like 5300 yen to get it tailored at a tailoring place... so I have it sitting in a tub of hot water right now hoping it'll shrink.  btw 2000 yen = like $25 and 5300 = like a little more than $65.  Sigh.

BUT life is pretty good pretty good atm oh yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

It's comin back around again

large size drink.. lol j/k

i hate it when i get cake in my swimsuit

a null talisman and arcane boots

douchey-mcdoucherson-san came all the way to japan for this beer pong photoshoot tournament

ghettooooo

mcdonald's bathroom

part 2

preying mantises are supposed to be good luck and so

So lately I've just been working.  I mean, isn't that what you guys do too?  Turns out one of my buddies is leaving Japan permanently... in two weeks.  Whoa whoa whoa.  You need to give me some more advance notice so I can make proper arrangements to make sure you can't leave.


As for me, I've been... skipping breakfast, eating a weak (though not necessarily small) lunch, then splurging on chocolate and potato chips for dinner.  I need to work out or something.  All in all though, I've been having a good time.  One night, I was on the train and these two dudes gave me their CDs.  I should've paid them for it... or at least texted them.  I'll text them tomorrow.  They're pretty good, too.  I'll put them up on the music blog sometime.  :)

So it's been like

....two weeks since I last posted.  I'm not sure what I did in those past two weeks, but maybe some of these photos will shed some light on that:

Mister Donut is a popular donut chain shop similar to Dunkin Donuts except for the fact that it doesn't suck and by that i mean dunkin is aight it's aight but at mister donut they'll give you the five-star service if you order a donut to go like they wrap up napkins in wax paper and put the donuts in a bag and tape the bag shut then they give you a plastic bag to put that pretty bag into; also, they have these cool fuggin bear donuts

pooh had it coming

this a food court where u eat off of tree stumps.  if only.  no, it's just a food court

if(osaka_best == 1)

yeah japan you go get that tan.  dude's some kinda famous member of a famous stupid boyband group

your usual old summer festivals.  let me tell you a little about the dance that these women are doing.  they dress in white and dance on the street.

he whispered bacon wrapped sweet nothings into her ear

it was blurry when i was there, too.

takeshi's friend, kiyo.  he's my friend too.

that's takeshi in the back, posing with someone else's family.  i love these kids... that one day i met them.

that's a bouncer with a hand on my shoulder

I AM DETECTIVE and i will find the culprit who spits on the stairwell of my place every morning.  EVERY MORNING and probably EVERY EVENING.  EVERY and i will track him down and tell him that that's not the right way to be japanese.

So rather than talk about what I've actually been doing, I'm just going to post pictures and caption them til I exhaust them all.  Hopefully that'll give you some insight into what I'm trying to hide from you guys.

But really, I've been pretty busy just hanging with people lately and whatnot.  The first day I got internet, I uploaded more than 30 GB of... STUFF and got a letter in the mail saying they'd cut my interwebs if I didn't call them or fill out some online form.  Good thing I got someone to do it for me whew.

In some of the pictures above, there was a festival (aka Matsuri)... there are a lot of festivals in the summer over here, usually around train stations, from my understanding.  The one in the above pictures was at Ageo, and it was a lot of fun.  There are a bunch of stalls along the street with lots of food and a few games (though they all tend to look similar as you walk around the festival).  There are dudes and chicks dancing and they carry portable shrines or whatever and yeah it's pretty fun pretty fun.

Also, the day of Ageo Matsuri was the day I decided to become a crime fighter.  I know I joke a lot on this blog, but I'm really not joking about this part.